7 Personality Types Single Men (Who Are Looking) Should Avoid Becoming

This list is inspired by Pastor Joseph Bonifacio’s talk during the recently concluded Act Like A Man Summit held last September 13, 2014 at Victory Greenhills.

1. Mr. Hindi Ko Na Kaya

Some men confess their feelings to women they like just because they “can’t contain it anymore”. Men, if there’s one important virtue that we must cultivate within ourselves, we know too well that it is self-control. If you’re planning to confess your feelings to the woman you like just because of your uncontrolled emotions, we have a problem. What you should do (and you should know this by now very well) is, first, tell your plans to God. Pray and make sure that this is an act of faith and not just any impulsive reaction to your emotions. Ask God for guidance. The confession must be Spirit-led. After praying, ask for prayer and guidance from your Victory Group leader or from someone who you trust can give you godly counsel. Lastly, have a clear action plan in your mind. What if she says “yes” that you can already pursue her? What if she says “no”? Whatever the outcome is, thank God. But let your confession to the woman you like be not just a mere confession. Have a clear action plan in your mind and let God bless it.

2. Mr. Pa-Bestfriend

Some men intentionally choose the “bestfriend route” just to “test the waters”. While befriending someone you like is permissible for a certain period of time, overly doing this eliminates the opportunity to “walk above the waters”. Men should be clear with their motives and must actively pursue the woman that they like. Tama na ang pa-bestfriend!

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

3. Mr. Oversharing

Some men tend to overshare things to the women they like and are friends with as part of their “testing the waters” tactics. They tend to make someone they like prematurely “involved” in their personal lives just to get the “feel” of it. If you have a tendency to do this, beware. You are not doing a great job guarding your heart and also the heart of the woman who had captured yours.

4. Mr. Serial Dater

The rule of thumb is simple. Don’t date her if you don’t have any plans of pursuing her for marriage. Sounds too much? I say, do not be conformed to the pattern of this world (Check out Romans 12:2). While most people in our generation will say that dating is normal and that there’s no need to bother becoming different, I say Joshua Harris did a great job in writing his book entitled, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. In his book, he pointed out the importance of keeping away from sin at all cost and also the value of purity. Jumping from one date to another often leads to compromise that it’s not anymore a wonder why pre-marital sex had become a norm in our generation. Even when most people do it and even when it hurts to wait, do not ask her out for a date yet if you don’t have any plans yet of pursuing her for marriage.

5. Mr. Feeling Heartthrob

Some men had become too "handsome" that they had passively forgone the opportunity to pursue someone they really like. Women had become too easy to get for them. Most of the time, relationships that started where men did not exert efforts to pursue the woman do not last long. In his book entitled “Wild At Heart”, John Eldredge said that inside a man’s heart are three important things: a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue and an adventure to live. Zoom in on “a beauty to rescue”. The idea is simple. The woman that a man worked hard to pursue is a woman to be treasured.

6. Mr. The-Lord-Told-Me

This is an appeal for both men and women. Please. Be careful in using the phrase “The Lord told me…” In the case of a man pursuing someone he likes, using this phrase is a red flag. You can’t ask someone out for a date with you using this phrase as a compelling reason. Be guided.

7. Mr. The Buzz ng Bayan

When you have plans of pursuing someone, do not tell it to everyone. The most that you can do is to ask for prayer and guidance from your Victory Group leader or from someone who you trust can give you godly counsel. Also, stop making “parinig” over social media. Be a real man and tell it straight to her in faith during the right time!

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

Song of Solomon 8:4

Don't have a Victory Group yet? Join us every Saturday, 6PM, at Robinson's Galleria. You may contact me via 0998-367-0545 or 0915-339-4455.

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