Until My Voice Is No More

Dear Abba,

Yesterday, I got invited by my brothers to their Application Night in the Music Ministry. In Victory Ortigas, we call "Application Night" the night where the new members of the Music Ministry shall "apply" the lessons they have learned during the 3-week "training" with the leaders of the ministry.

My own Application Night is still fresh on my mind. At first, I thought that "Application Night" was the night when we'll know if we made it to the ministry or not. I can still remember how big of a surprise it was for me to know that I was wrong. There's no more cut off. It was a real treat from you, Abba. Thank you so much.

I was so blessed to see my 2 brothers, Jhon and MJ, lead the song "Here in Your Presence". I told Jhon that he will always remember his Application Night every time he will step on stage to lead the worship services. The first time I led "Here in Your Presence" on stage, I still can remember how filled I was with your love that tears actually fell from my eyes. My heart was touched when the people started to sing even without leading them and I thought that is the job of every worship leader. To lead the people to worship you, and to not just lead the song. In fact, I felt that I can already go down the stage and worship with the people once they started singing but you are also the God of order, so we also observe orderliness during worship services and a worship leader can't just step down. But that's how I felt. Once the people started to sing, my job was done. The next thing to do is to worship with them knowing that you will always receive our worship, not because we are so good at doing it nor because we sing so well. It is because of the Son who you gave to us 2,000 years ago for the salvation of our sins, that whoever believes in Him shall be saved. And thus, your grace and truth flowed from him to us, covering us with his most precious blood. This is the reason why our worship is pleasing to you. It is because you see the blood of the Lamb in us, not because of any of our good works.

I thank you for the gift of music. I have told so many people how amazing you were when you allowed me to be admitted to the Music Ministry, even without much knowledge about music. I can't tell them enough how funny I thought of myself during my auditions that I even did prayed my own prayer of acceptance that it's okay if I don't pass the auditions. But you did it for me! You let me in the ministry! I can't believe you! You are truly the living wonderful and amazing God!

Whenever I think about your faithfulness, I can't help but cry. I want to shout to the world about your goodness and greatness and your faithfulness! When I can't, you always can. When we have seemed to have forgotten our own dreams, you will remind us of those dreams and you will use those dreams for your glory and honor and praise!

Abba, use me and my brothers for your glory. Use our voices, our knowledge and whatever we have to proclaim your greatness in all the earth. We are small, a speck of dust, a vapor in the wind. But because you are with us, we can do anything.

Thank you for being our God, the God of love and the only God. Forever and ever.

Will sing praises to you until my voice is no more,

Mark

A Prayer in the Desert

Dear Abba,

Thank you for the desert, the season of being in lack. I know that the path that I chose wasn’t easy. I left my job in the corporate world for the desire of becoming an entrepreneur. I have no savings, no business plans, no business partners nor investors- I only have you. And that’s why I feel I have more than enough.

What’s amazing about being the desert is knowing that you are there to watch over me. I know I have lots of things to learn yet in this life and the fact that I am feeling all sorts of difficulties right now is because you are still in the process of refining me as a person. I know, one day, I will become fully what you intended me to become- a mighty man of yours.

Abba, I remember how you provided for your people in the time of Moses as it was written in the Book of Exodus. In the desert, you provided manna, quail and water. Despite the discontentment and the sinfulness of the Israelites back then, you never ceased to care. The cloud of your care and the firewall of your protection remained with them until they reached the promised land.

I thank you for your faithfulness. I thank you for the desert. I thank you for the time of lack. If there’s a place that this season in my life had brought me- that place is my end, a place where I have met my limitations as a human being. I can’t keep my money. I can’t keep my health. I can’t keep my shelter. They aren’t my security. You are. And the more that you take away from me, the more that I learn how limited and fragile and helpless I am. The more that I know about it, the more that I become dependent on you. And the more that I depend on you, the more that I get near the truth- that you are the God who is the source of everything and that you are the God who is more than willing to provide for us.

I thank you for you are my God. You are the God who loves me no matter what. You are the God who provides in the middle of the desert, despite the disobedience after disobedience after disobedience after disobedience.

You gave and gave and gave and gave to us. What can you not give if you had already given the Son 2,000 years ago to be the fountain of grace and forgiveness for us? Because of him, we can now approach your most Holy of Holies anytime in the temple that you have built within our bodies. You have also written the law in our hearts and that law is called love.

Thank you for being the mighty provider in Ararat, in Sinai, in Calvary, in Zion and in the desert.

Holding on to you,

Mark

Children of the Island of Fire

Dear Abba,

I still don’t know how to thank you enough for the beautiful experience you have given us last July when we visited the island of Camiguin, the so-called Island of Born of Fire. You have blessed the island with so much precious gifts such as the warm and gentle-speaking people, the rich marine life, the beautiful bodies of water such as the fall and the springs, and the lanzones fruit which you know my mom loves so much.

What are the odds that in the middle of our “rest” during our second day, you will give us a special mission to fulfill?

That night you gave us the children of Camiguin who were playing beside the sea. I know how special is the place in your heart that you have given the children. The moment I saw them, I knew that you sent your Spirit to us to approach them and minister to them. This is something that I will never even think of doing during my old life. Indeed, you have made me your new creation.

I thank you for my brothers who have the hearts for the kids. We used to say in our church that the Kids Church is the best church in the world! I agree on this. I will never forget the story on how you welcomed the children in your arms when your disciples told them to stay away from you. How you talked about becoming like them, the children, to be able to enter the kingdom of God. How fiery yours might have seemed when you told the people about the penalty for anyone who will defile those innocent ones. The children will always have the most special place in your heart.

And while we are sinful and undeserving of your grace, you allowed us to minister to your little ones and prayed for them during that night. I thank you for bringing my Spibu (spiritual buddy), Marvin, with me to whom you endowed so many talents. He taught the kids new worship songs as well as the dance steps that went along with it. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

And before the night was over, you poured out your Spirit unto me. PB had always encouraged me to ask for higher gifts, for that was your will for us. You take delight in giving us your blessings as our loving Father. You take delight in giving us gifts for you know that these are seeds that we’ll use, in turn, to bless the church.

I have never asked for higher gifts before but that night I knew that you wanted me to prophesy for the children. You wanted me to speak words of blessings and protection and hope for them, for it will help them be lifted up from the hard life that they have in the island. You are witness to their pains and poverty and I thank you for using me, small as I am, to bless them. They will grow up to be fine young men and women who fear your name.

Your Spirit was with us during that night. Beside the calm sea and above the velvety sand of Camiguin, we uttered a prayer for the children. A few moments more, we heard them sobbing altogether. At the innermost room of my heart, I praised your name. For how many times may we be given the chance to pray for the children and then hear them sobbing while at it? I knew that you were with us that night. You were speaking directly to the hearts of your little ones while we pray to you.

Abba, you are amazing. Words aren’t even enough. Tonight, my heart goes out to all the children in the world. Thank you for always being their protector, their defender, their banner. Send the evil ones out of their way and guard their hearts for always.

Your child always in awe of you,

Mark

Her Secret Place

Dear Abba,

A few weeks ago, Jie Jie (Chinese for big sister) and I had a date in her “secret place”. It’s called Casa Roces in front of Malacañang Palace, where the president of the land lives.

It was a joy to see her. I told her she is blooming. In Chinese, she’s “yue lai yue piaoliang”. I was being sincere when I said that. She looked really calm and happy that day.

She asked me to pray to you for her new venture. I think that she’s really built to be an entrepreneur. It delighted me a bit when she told me she already resigned from her previous post in the government, not because I don’t want her to serve the people. But because I think that she’ll be able to serve more people if she’ll do what she does best. I think she’ll be a good businesswoman.

When I visited her family business in Camiguin, there’s a writing on the wall that said “Profit with honor.” When I asked around for the person who wrote it, they said it’s the owner. I knew it. It runs in her blood.

That night, she treated me with really good food, the names of which I can't remember anymore. I know though that when I ask her about it, she’ll know right away. It was her “secret place”.

Thank you for giving me a big sister. Because of you, I have an older sibling in Spirit.

Thank you for always being with her anywhere she goes. You have been to all of her “secret places”. This gives me the assurance that you’ll always know where to find her whenever she calls your name and no matter how "secret" is the place where she can be found.

Thank you for being the good shepherd who constantly looks after us.

One of your sheeps,

Mark

First Letter

Dear Abba,

Thank you for creating this blog with me, for me. Make this piece an everlasting prayer of praise for you. Thank you for loving me no matter what.

Sincerely,

Mark