7 Personality Types Single Men (Who Are Looking) Should Avoid Becoming

This list is inspired by Pastor Joseph Bonifacio’s talk during the recently concluded Act Like A Man Summit held last September 13, 2014 at Victory Greenhills.

1. Mr. Hindi Ko Na Kaya

Some men confess their feelings to women they like just because they “can’t contain it anymore”. Men, if there’s one important virtue that we must cultivate within ourselves, we know too well that it is self-control. If you’re planning to confess your feelings to the woman you like just because of your uncontrolled emotions, we have a problem. What you should do (and you should know this by now very well) is, first, tell your plans to God. Pray and make sure that this is an act of faith and not just any impulsive reaction to your emotions. Ask God for guidance. The confession must be Spirit-led. After praying, ask for prayer and guidance from your Victory Group leader or from someone who you trust can give you godly counsel. Lastly, have a clear action plan in your mind. What if she says “yes” that you can already pursue her? What if she says “no”? Whatever the outcome is, thank God. But let your confession to the woman you like be not just a mere confession. Have a clear action plan in your mind and let God bless it.

2. Mr. Pa-Bestfriend

Some men intentionally choose the “bestfriend route” just to “test the waters”. While befriending someone you like is permissible for a certain period of time, overly doing this eliminates the opportunity to “walk above the waters”. Men should be clear with their motives and must actively pursue the woman that they like. Tama na ang pa-bestfriend!

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

3. Mr. Oversharing

Some men tend to overshare things to the women they like and are friends with as part of their “testing the waters” tactics. They tend to make someone they like prematurely “involved” in their personal lives just to get the “feel” of it. If you have a tendency to do this, beware. You are not doing a great job guarding your heart and also the heart of the woman who had captured yours.

4. Mr. Serial Dater

The rule of thumb is simple. Don’t date her if you don’t have any plans of pursuing her for marriage. Sounds too much? I say, do not be conformed to the pattern of this world (Check out Romans 12:2). While most people in our generation will say that dating is normal and that there’s no need to bother becoming different, I say Joshua Harris did a great job in writing his book entitled, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. In his book, he pointed out the importance of keeping away from sin at all cost and also the value of purity. Jumping from one date to another often leads to compromise that it’s not anymore a wonder why pre-marital sex had become a norm in our generation. Even when most people do it and even when it hurts to wait, do not ask her out for a date yet if you don’t have any plans yet of pursuing her for marriage.

5. Mr. Feeling Heartthrob

Some men had become too "handsome" that they had passively forgone the opportunity to pursue someone they really like. Women had become too easy to get for them. Most of the time, relationships that started where men did not exert efforts to pursue the woman do not last long. In his book entitled “Wild At Heart”, John Eldredge said that inside a man’s heart are three important things: a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue and an adventure to live. Zoom in on “a beauty to rescue”. The idea is simple. The woman that a man worked hard to pursue is a woman to be treasured.

6. Mr. The-Lord-Told-Me

This is an appeal for both men and women. Please. Be careful in using the phrase “The Lord told me…” In the case of a man pursuing someone he likes, using this phrase is a red flag. You can’t ask someone out for a date with you using this phrase as a compelling reason. Be guided.

7. Mr. The Buzz ng Bayan

When you have plans of pursuing someone, do not tell it to everyone. The most that you can do is to ask for prayer and guidance from your Victory Group leader or from someone who you trust can give you godly counsel. Also, stop making “parinig” over social media. Be a real man and tell it straight to her in faith during the right time!

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

Song of Solomon 8:4

Don't have a Victory Group yet? Join us every Saturday, 6PM, at Robinson's Galleria. You may contact me via 0998-367-0545 or 0915-339-4455.

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4 Things I Learned About Manhood from Pastor Gilbert Foliente (Act Like A Man Summit 2014)

It was a great honor to be listening again to Pastor Gilbert Foliente during the Act Like A Man Summit held last September 13, 2014 at Victory Greenhills. I won’t forget that he actually is the first pastor I have ever listened to in Victory U-Belt when I was still a college student in UST - still a non-believer during that time. Years had passed and I am a Christian now, he still has the same effect on me. He is still the same witty and funny preacher who is full of wisdom of the Lord. I honor you, Pastor Gilbert!

Below are the 4 things I learned about manhood from Pastor Gilbert during the summit.

Please feel free to share this to all the men in your life.

1. Real men are secure with the Lord.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:26-27

Pastor Gilbert reiterated to us the importance of knowing that we are created in the image and likeness of God. He said that this is one of the greatest gifts God has given us – to be created in His own image and likeness.

Perhaps this is also why we, including our bodies, are considered sacred. To add, seeking to destroy someone is considered as a grave sin. Killing someone is tantamount to destroying a creation to whom the very image and likeness of God had been endowed.

Pastor Gilbert told us that our security must come from the Lord. Fundamentally speaking, our self-image must be rooted with the fact that we are created in God’s image and likeness – and not with any superficial and temporal things we can find in this world.

2. Real men provide.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”

Genesis 2:15

I appreciated it when Pastor Gilbert specifically pointed out that work is not a result of the fall. Even before the fall, God already appointed Adam to become the keeper of the Garden of Eden. We are made for work. Thus, work must not be despised nor be considered as a punishment. It is a gift, a special appointment, from the Lord. Other creations can’t do it – only us.

Years ago, I was able to read a popular book called “Wild At Heart” by John Eldredge. He said that while Eve was created inside the Garden of Eden, Adam was created outside it. For him, this spells a lot of difference. Man is wired to go outside the house, haunt and come back with food for the family. The woman, on the other hand, is intended to be inside the house and become its keeper. Though modern times had tweaked this a bit, I believe we are all still wired in this pattern. This observation by Eldredge, I believe, supports the claim of man being the worker, hunter and provider for the family. With the woman, he forms a wonderful teamwork.

3. Real men protect.

So Boaz said to Ruth, “My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with the women who work for me. 9 Watch the field where the men are harvesting, and follow along after the women. I have told the men not to lay a hand on you. And whenever you are thirsty, go and get a drink from the water jars the men have filled.”

Ruth 2:8-9

Don't be confused. Boaz is not Ruth's father. Because of this passage, I was able to get a sneak peek of the love story of Boaz and Ruth. It is one of the greatest love stories in the Bible. Boaz is the man! In this passage, he gave specific instructions to Ruth for her safety.

There’s also a passage in the Bible that talks about a time when Boaz found Ruth sleeping near his bed. But Boaz, being a real gentleman and a man of God, did not take advantage of Ruth. He was after her purity. Real men are protectors – not defilers of women. Aside from this, real men are protectors of his whole family.

4. Real mean lead.

But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

Genesis 3:9

This is a short but a truly insightful passage. I believe that God knows who ate the forbidden first, being the omniscient God that He is, but why did he ask the man first about it?

Is it because Adam is His favorite and that He cared less for Eve? Nah. I believe it’s got to be more than that.

Adam is the one appointed to take care of everything in the Garden of Eden. I believe that means including Eve. Being God’s appointed, it is but just right to ask him first about their whereabouts and what the two of them had done – regardless of who ate the forbidden fruit first. It’s interesting how Adam responded to God’s interrogation afterwards. Here’s Genesis 3:9-12. (Bold, italics and underline mine) Look closely.

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

God’s query is a simple question answerable by a yes or a no. “Have you eaten from the tree?” Interestingly, the man answered with a statement, which I believe now, even in the present time, which is trillions of years (or more) after the creation, can be described as a statement that is somewhat defensive and passing the blame on others – first on the woman and second on God.

When Adam was expected to take responsibility, he pointed his fingers to Eve and then to God.

***

Real men are secure with Lord. Real men provide. Real men protect. Real men lead. Thank you very much Pastor Gilbert Foliente for the lessons that you shared to us. Thank you too to Pastor Dennis Sy and his team who are behind the Act Like A Man Summit 2014!

A-hoo!